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Taking a Whole Brain Approach to a Break Up by: Kelley Seriano

Our memories are anchor points in our biography. Anytime we have an experience, where stimuli is high this memory is embedded in our neural pathways. Neurosculpting® Meditation allowed me to step into my own power once again, and actually override memories from my breakup this past September. I loved this man so much from my heart, yet – my head said something totally different. I favored my emotional pull with him constantly. To the point where my health became a concern and I knew I needed to take action.

As a Neurosculpting® facilitator for the past 3 years, I have learned endless tools in this modality of mediation that helped me end unserving patterns and take a whole brain approach toward my life. In Neurosculpting® , We use something called the grounding cord. This cord is designed to keep me in a neutral state, for me, it is the inability to be “thrown mentally”.

My ex-lover struggled with bipolar disorder and I truly believe he started to go through a midlife crisis. If you have ever experienced loving someone with this disease, it can be manipulative and emotionally unstable and then lay a midlife crisis on top of it – whew wee. The minute I made up my mind I was absolutely done, I anchored in my grounding cord to the center of the earth. So, it helped me stop the power struggles with him, it helped me stop getting sucked back in when his bipolar would swing towards nurturing me from hating me. In addition, I am empathic; I realized I was taking on his negative behaviors and thoughts!

2895947823_c2d4e13602_z Neurosculpting® has a tool called the personal bubble. With this bubble I was actually able to remove his energy from my energy. With this I was able to clear his thoughts and emotions from mine and get clear on the fact that I was done with this situation. This bubble helped me notice that my ex lover fed off of negative emotions and drama – the bubble helped me realize he enjoyed the charge associated with arguing. Neurosculpting® allowed me to take accountability in my part of waiting out his behaviors, hoping they would change and even worse mirroring his behaviors.

319222005_6ec7fcec1a_zThe week we broke up I conducted a Neurosculpting® through duality meditation I conducted where I was able to separate my behavior when I was with him and not with him. I realized my light shined brighter when I wasn’t with him. With all of this said, I was able to establish appreciation for the experience and compassion for him. Engaging my prefrontal cortex allowed me to put my best self forward, when he reached out a couple times recently, I was kind – I felt calm speaking with him and I was flooded with forgiveness. In dealing with post breakup residue – I wasn’t charged up or feeling sick when I saw him the morning after he was intimate with another woman, I simply engaged my pre-frontal cortex with curiosity…”hmm, I wonder how he was able to allow another woman into our home when I wasn’t fully moved out”. Also, I was able to see this all from a medical perspective.

When a memory comes up from my past relationship, I feel the color and texture and wash it away if negative. If a positive memory surfaces about us, I surround it with light and put it in my manifestation bubble for a new lover. My new neural pathways now say, I am committed to not being dependent on a lovers approval constantly. I will not enable another by constantly reinforcing behaviors that are misaligning. I have learned a lesson and I am taking a whole brain approach in moving forward. In breakups, the more we can engage our prefrontal cortex – which is described as the pause before the punch verse a limbic reactive response, I truly think we are better off. I am able to speak to this relationship and feel at peace.

-Kelley Seriano

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