Is it worth it to never go back?
On a recent OWN Super Soul Sunday interview with Tim Storey comebacks from setbacks were the focus of the discussion. One comment made by Tim Storey was, “A comeback is not a go-back.” He went on to say that many times people focus on returning to the way their lives were before a setback happens as an antidote, but he says that this doesn’t work – you need to move forward to create a new comeback.
I started thinking about this in my own story of moving forward and reshaping my life after several setbacks in my career and personal life. I thought of how I tend to think of time periods in my life that I consider “golden” in that major areas of my life were working the way I wanted them to at the time; my career was on track, my relationship was smooth, my health and weight were where I wanted them. And I noticed what was missing in these eras I “go-back” to compared to the way I am reshaping my life now – it was what I had defined as success, what I could control, what fit a mold I accepted for myself. There was no higher guide other than me.
This time around I don’t want to “go back,” I want to go into where I am meant to be in my life as defined by my higher power. Going back implies that I won’t learn from my past mistakes and disappointments and therefore risk a repeat of them – and I would prefer to not repeat these things!
So when you go into changing your life, your mindset, your goals, your ideal, are you listening to the inner guide you have been given from birth or are you listening to the outside world and your ego? Your ego and the external world want things that keep you trapped and motivated by fear. They are the voices that are like school yard bullies in that they taunt you, tell you that you are less than okay, say that you won’t ever be enough. When you don’t stop and realize that your true voice and inner guide would only tell you loving things, say encouraging and inspiring things, and allow you to tell yourself you are doing alright in your life, you lose the power you have to learn from your setbacks; you stop your comeback because the ego and the external voices will tell you that things were so much better before the fall, that you can get back to that time when you were good enough. If you listen to your inner guide you will move onto your comeback by realizing you can’t go back and fix, change, or rewrite the past, you can only pick yourself up, own the setback, realize it is part of becoming your best self, and move on.
The only thing worse than a setback is an attempt to go back, because moving backwards set you up for more of the same.
Susan Aplin Pogue
began her career in personal development after many years focused on self-development and improvement work. Her experiences led her to discover tools and practices that she was inspired to share with other people through her blog work. Additionally, she has created and facilitated leadership trainings for executive teams in corporate and small businesses. Susan is a public speaker, and has addressed audiences on topics ranging from leadership to time management. Her mission is to share practical and powerful self-management techniques to those in recovery from any aspect of their life that has begun to negatively impact their well-being and quality of life. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in English from the University of Colorado, Boulder, a Certification in Emergenetics ® , and a Certification in DDI Management Skills ®. Her work draws upon her background in corporate training and human resource departments, as well as her life experiences. Susan’s blog work is published by The Neurosculpting ® Institute. Transform, Inspire, Thrive.